So. After many hours of thinking, imagining, studying Miss Snark and failing to work you into a hook for Vampire Pie, I have finally figured out what your problem is.
You have no conflict.
"Trying to figure out what's going on" definitely doesn't cut it. No stakes and not interesting anyway.
Certainly, you get yourself into trouble later on, but you need to have something going on right off the bat (er, so to speak), or we are sunk. Well, you are sunk. That is to say, out on yer kiester, toots.
But I like you. So I shall think on it.
Contempletively,
-Writer Lady
