Dear Soren,

.
You're hilarious. You really think you can defeat the Evil Prince. With a fucking cello.

What are you gonna do? Saw the bow across his neck and rosin him to death? Jab him with the endpin and wait around for him to bleed out?

You need a better plan, lover boy.

Be seeing to that, please,

-WL

Dear Lyla,

.
Good job. You came through. You get to live.

Congratulations,
-WL

Dear Lyla,

.
Nice job diverting my attention from your Lack of Stakes by turning your husband into an evil, depraved monster, but I'm still not happy with your sorry ass. You still have No Stakes, girl.

Furthermore, what the hell power do you have over Gregor that you can sail through life in his house unscathed?? It makes no sense; why can't he get to you? And if he can't get to you, why the hell don't you defend his victims?

Confused,
-WL

Dear Lyla of the Shiny New Story Idea I Wasn't Going to Write About,

If you have issues, bitch, you need to fess the fuck up with them, because as things stand, you have No Stakes. Especially when compared with your erstwhile lover, who has fucking Stakes Galore.

Having No Stakes is a one-way ticket to the Shiny New Story Idea Graveyard. Verstehst Du?

I fucking hope so, because other than Having No Stakes, I like you, you good-for-nothing, blond, fangy whore.

Tons of love (not that you deserve it),
-WL

Dear Shiny New Story Idea,

Shut. The. Fuck. UP.

No, seriously -- I'm not even 2 days into plotting for Screnzy. This is NOT a good fucking time. Now, I took notes, because you were so fucking insistent and wouldn't shut the fuck up for 2 seconds today, but that's ALL I'M GONNA DO right now. Gat it, bitch?

Not. Fucking. Impressed.

-WL